Perceptions!

I read a wonderful thing which I'd like to share. There a lot of things which I can relate with myself as well which are written by him.

People think it''s obvious. That I''m frustrated with not getting anywhere, but its not just not getting anywhere but that I''m trying and not getting anywhere, even being set back in places. It''s not just a job or school or what I want, but that I don''t know how to get it or even why people just push my attempt aside. People only see how I am from the appearance I give, but they don''t know what I think or why I do what I do. They assume it''s this or that. They have their own reasoning of why I do things. People think they have me figured out, cause surely they think they have been through what I''m going through. It''s not the world that I am going through, but my own self and they are not me so they cannot know what I''m going through. People think I don''t look at them when they are talking because I don''t care and I''m not listening. I cannot listen fully if I''m busy maintaining eye contact and concentrating on that. They think I don''t care cause I do not respond to the questions they ask. I don''t respond because I don''t know what to say in a way that would be appropriate or that would make sense to them. I have learned it is better to look the fool then to be the fool. It is better to stay quiet then say something that someone might take the wrong way. It''s not easy for me to speak how I feel, because I''m not even sure how I feel. I have to think of what it is I feel and why I feel it so that I know that what I feel, that way I am able to name it, rather than wondering why I feel a way with no name and no reason behind it. It''s easier to tell things or describe things outside that have no connection to anyone or anything. I don''t have to rationalize why they are that way or even what they are. So I have tried living a life as to the best of my ability that mimics the actions of others. But I have finally "burnt out"; I pushed myself too far. I''ve grown tired of putting on this act; it has "taxed all my reserves" and left me with no sense of self. I force myself to talk, I force myself to go out and be with people. I force myself, when everything that is me does not wish to. I wish I could just go and live alone out in the middle of the woods and be left to daydream all of my days, but that is not possible for anyone to do. Instead, many a times I''ve observed how others acted. Let me give an example of what my life is like. You have an elephant and you have a little guppy fish. Both see and live in the same world, but they do not perceive things the same way. The way they each perceive water, land, and the measurement of small, are where they differ greatly. I feel the same way in many respects. I can''t go on living with these differences in perceptions as they go about leading me to failure, because although I may be right in my own way, it doesn''t matter. Society believes their way of seeing things is the only way, to see otherwise it''s wrong and even incomprehensible.